Featuring midlife crisis & a West End Theatre disaster

Midlife crisis
Having reached forty I decided it was time to indulge myself and show some outward signs of a midlife crisis (other than writing a Blog). The first obvious thing to do was rush out and get a Mini Cooper convertible. Despite driving in a period that you need a secured bank loan to just pass a petrol station let alone stop and put any liquid gold into the car, it has been great fun. Even driving with the roof down in temperatures (Aside 1) that are less than appropriate and will probably result in moving my midlife crisis back to my early twenties, has not been enough to dampen my spirit.

West End Theatre disaster
I treated Mrs B to a night out at a West End Theatre (Man behind the Iron Mask), in the mistaken belief that if the show has made it to the West End it can’t be that bad. I now know that this is simply not true, how could I have guessed that the writer had put up £500,000 pounds of his own money to honour the dying wish of his wife that the show should have a run in the West End (Aside 2) I can only surmise that either she wanted him to go broke, making it harder for him to find a replacement for her or was suffering from some dreadful wasting disease that impaired her judgment (apparently she saw the potential that the show had. Those must have been some powerful drugs she was on when she read his script; I bet most of the audience could have done with some to null the pain). It felt like we had been trapped in a timeshare sales conference and the only way to make it out alive was to sign up for every one of the hard to shift properties on their books. Following what felt like the purchase of 64 weeks of strictly non-transferable accommodation, we were released onto the London streets, stripped of all dignity and lacking compassion for dying old ladies with judgement issues.

Breaking News
McG caught a mouse, which, for those of you who have followed his life story will be aware, is somewhat of a miracle. It would not have surprised me if it had been frozen and wrapped in a Tescos’ shopping bag, but fair play to him (Aside 3) he gets the credit for his first kill in nine years. I felt pretty bad swiping it off him, but it was worth it when I presented it to Mrs B who gave me an extra helping of cream and a rub behind the ears, although it took weeks to get rid of the taste from my mouth.......


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(1) I have seen a number of brass monkeys kicking spherical objects along the road, all of whom have refused lifts unless I put the roof up.

No brass monkeys here, although some people can't believe that
I have the balls to wear the hat and goggles
- All I will say is "They keep me warm!"

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(2) Run is not really the appropriate term; It was more of a stumble to be honest.

Mrs B attempts a run worthy of "Man Behind the Iron Mask"....

(3) Without forensic evidence proving that it had been handled by a number of other animals of a feline persuasion, indicating McG had got it on the "cat market".

McG & Mischief - Rare photo of them sitting together,they
normaly get on as well as Celtic & Rangers fans........

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