Avoiding Guy Fawkes

I managed to avoid this years celebration of the "Gunpowder Plot" (aside 1), as I took Mrs B and some friends up to the Cambridge Corn Exchange(aside 2) to see "Athlete"(aside 3). Another triumph and at just £16 pounds a ticket, quite the bargain. The only problem was, the room was so hot my sweat was sweating; it was certainly apt when they sang "It's hot in here, must be something in the atmosphere". The only downer on the night was that while talking to Mrs B, waiting for the band, I discovered that she had discarded my Lycra keep fit shorts (black with a luminescent pink stripe down either side, hmmm, very nice). Now I'm the first to admit that they were hardly flattering and they certainly clung to all the wrong bits, but that's not the point. I've had them since my early 20's and they are about the only item of clothing that I could still get into, from those long distant days (Lycra is forgiving like that, although members of our local gym might not agree) other then my cloth cap.(aside 4)



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(1) What was all that about, Guy Fawkes born into a Protestant family leading a Catholic rebellion to overthrow a Catholic king James 1st, because he was not Catholic enough for their tastes, very strange. If my history is correct he turned out to be the last true Catholic king (although Charles II converted on his death bed, but 16 seconds of catholic rule hardly counts and besides I suspect he was just hedging his bets. After siring so many illegitimate children he was probably running out of women so though he might expand his horizons and try and lure other dress wearing members of society into his bedchamber, it was a straight choice between conversion to Catholicism and having a crack at a priest or attempting to seduce a kilt wearing Jock), so that went well then. (Return to text)






































(2) A poorly named building if I'm any judge, I brought along a bushel of corn, but could I find one person willing to exchange it, could I heck. This never happened on the Multi-Coloured Swap Shop, you could take along a box of dead frogs and get something for them, even if it was just someones half eaten gob stopper (that takes me back, Keith "Cheggers" Chegwin saying to some poor little sod "Jamie, someone from your school has offered not to beat you up again next week, if you give him yours and Julia's dinner money, it sounds like a fair swap to me, although you will be missing out on the delights of turkey twizzlers". As MaggiePhilbinlegs it into the distance, offering to swap not only her husband but her job on the show for a short stint presenting Tomorrow's World. (Return to text)















































(3) After two great albums and supporting U2 in the summer, I predict great things from them, so expect to hear about their demise shortly. Other great favourites of mine have included, The Icicle works, Love & Money (a demised incarnation of Friends Again before demising themselves) and the Big Dish. The Beatles can count themselves lucky that they had disbanded before I got into them, although John Lennon may not consider himself that lucky as he was shot shortly after I decided I preferred him to Paul McCartney. If only I had got into Westlife, Boyzown and Take That before they were allowed to trashed the music scene. (Return to text)























































(4) Another Item of clothing that is strongly disapproved off by certain members of the Black household, but since I was wearing it when I first met Mrs B (I suspect If I had been wearing the Lycra shorts along with the cloth cap at that first meeting, Mrs B would not be Mrs B) it is safe on historical grounds, besides I've taken to hiding it when not in use.(Return to text)