Triple tagged by ankle bitters and reports of a local crime wave

I found myself physiologically under attack for 2 solid days, from 3 ankle biters last weekend. On Saturday I had to be on best behaviour as two of Mrs B’s three God Children made an appearance. Since I was banned from taking refuse with the cats it was only a matter of time before I blotted my copy book. I thought I had done quite well and we were into injury time when I made the older of the children cry. “How?” I hear you ask, probably expecting me to admitting to tripping her or stealing her sweets. Nothing so complicated, all I did was beat her at the poxy game that she whined about wanting to play all day. Well, it was “The Game of Life” and I was just attempting to teach her the cruelties that exist out there. It’s always a bit unnerving when you have a suspicion that the six year old that you are dealing with is probably actually brighter then you (At least my spelling is certainly more creative then hers). Still she did make the fundamental mistake of allowing me to be banker, so she had lost before she had begun. I’m not saying I indulged in any bank misappropriations in order to win, I’ll just say it’s nice to know the money was there if I needed it.
As for her younger sister, what makes anyone think that I want to spend my meal times watching her fail to eat any of her food, while she splashed it around our dining room like Jackson Pollock in full swing. Just the thought of it makes me want to go and have a lie down……. And that was just Saturday.
What is it with ankle bitters? You do your best to ignore them and stay out of their way, only to find yourself being hunted down.I thought I was going to need Rabies shots after this unprovoked attack...
Sunday brought a whole new child and proved to be moderately more bearable for me. Phoebe lives in a world of make believe and kept trying to take Mrs B along for the ride. Mrs B doesn’t really do make believe, I guess living with me is more then enough for the sanest of people. I could visibly see her wilt under the onslaught. Thankfully Mitch paid us a visit on Sunday night and restored a bit of spirit to the Black family household, even the cats reappeared from whatever dimension they had taken vanished into ….

Bishop's Stortford crime wave hits new record
It was a good weekend for anyone who has McG in there fantasy food theft league; he had a bumper weekend gaining a hat-rick of successful food raids. Using the distraction of guests he managed to knock the lid off of the Wok and finish off the left overs from lunch. In the evening he lapped down a couple of dishes of Olive oil* and Balsamic vinegar. I ask you what cat in their right state of mind eats Olive oil and balsamic vinegar.Has anyone seen this master criminal
The hat-rick was achieved when he made a successful raid on Mischief’s food bowl. Mrs B gets an assist on this one as she let him out of his eating cell before checking that Mischief’s food had been removed from the planet, it soon was.....

* On the plus side he now has very sleek fur, but does insist that we now call him Luigi. I see he has added a Vespa and some tight fitting shirts to his Christmas list.
Unlike Mcavity the Mystery Cat"known as the hidden paw", McG should be known as the "red paw" as he is nearly always caught "Red handed" at the scene of his crimes.

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